How I critique a story
Brian Tillotson
Read the author's questions
This makes me alert to issues I might otherwise neglect.
Write five headings on a page
Unless the author gives more specific guidance, I write
these headings in order: Character, Setting, Plot, Style, and Theme. (A famous
writer said, "A story is a character in a setting with a problem," so
we should at least address those elements.) I allocate roughly equal space for
each of the first four and a smaller space to Theme. Writing these first (a)
makes me alert to those factors while I read, (b) gives me a place to take
notes, but (c) limits me to about five minutes worth of items so I'm not
tempted to include trivia.
Read the piece
Note:
·
Bumps
·
Flat words (e.g. walk: should it be stroll,
march, saunter, caper, etc?)
·
Adverbs. If I immediately think of a stronger
verb, note that.
·
Opportunities to deepen character:
o
Response to setting reveals character or mental
state.
o
Inner thought reveals reasons for, or conflict
with, external word or action.
o
Response to another character reveals character:
likes, distrusts, feels sympathy – or not.
·
Long section with no visual, sound, touch,
smell, taste/mouth texture. On the other hand, note vivid descriptions so the
author knows he or she is doing this well.
·
Heightened tension or stakes.
·
Repetitive/boring sentence structure.
If the piece has several scenes, jot notes at end of each as I go.
Often the quality of writing varies strongly from scene to
scene. What's my major impression of, or suggestion for, each scene? This helps the author focus her efforts.
Character
Ponder and write about every significant character,
including animals, robots, spirits, etc. It's too easy to get focused on the
flashy ones and neglect others, so be systematic.
Especially for a protagonist, is the character making
choices that drive the plot? How could we change the character so some part
of the conflict is more important to him or her?
·
Is the character's inner need in conflict
with his outer need? Is the character struggling? Afraid? Hurt? These are
all good.
·
Do I like/dislike the character, and is that
helpful or not?
·
Is the character interesting? Why/why not?
·
Is the character reacting believably? If not,
what would make that character more credible with that reaction?
·
Is dialogue natural? Does dialogue voice reveal
and enhance character? Does it reveal class, status, education,
desperation/comfort, etc?
·
Is each character necessary? Can he/she be
combined with another?
Setting
Can I tell major features that drive plot and constrain
character choices? Examples: How magic works; severity of mountain
range/weather/criminal gangs; social castes and classes; technology level;
character in prison or on an open prairie; etc. Does the character know these
facts? If not, does he wonder about them? Do I discover features of the setting
logically with the character?
Can I discern details that reveal a character's worldview? Examples: A touch of satin is unbelievable
luxury, or a stranger carrying a fake Gucci is so low-class the character wants
to hurl; a seam in their britches rubs their thigh raw after two days of hard
marching; the cyber deck is an Ono-Sendai, not a Sony.
Do details reveal differences that matter? Examples:
Clean, painted walls in the Enterprise vs. dented, stained walls in the stolen
Klingon ship. Silk clothes versus cotton.
Manners? Dialect?
Does the setting reveal character? For example, a
person's home or workplace: Slovenly or surgically clean? Empty pizza boxes
heaped in the living room? Drapes closed or open?
Does setting foreshadow or enhance plot? For example,
a rising storm in Melanie's novel foreshadows a fight. Sauron lives in a dark,
forbidding castle behind the Black Gate, not in Graceland, and traveling there
from Rivendell is physically difficult and dangerous.
Do I get sight, feel, sound, smell, taste? What do I wish I
knew that I don't?
Does the world appear credible? Can I believe that someone
in this world has political or economic power, food comes from somewhere,
garbage goes somewhere, babies are born and raised somewhere?
Plot, problem, conflict, stakes, action, and narrative structure.
Is the protagonist making choices, or is he/she just a
victim or puppet of others?
Is there at least one clear reason each POV character cares
about the problem? If it's not clear, is there at least reason to think the
reader will learn it? (The Sea of
Tranquility is a masterpiece of not telling for ages, but convincing you
the answer is coming.)
How could the author make the situation harder for the POV
character? More broadly, how can we make each situation stronger: stronger
love, joy, relief, fear, hate, sympathy, etc? We shouldn't do this in every
case, but we should ask in every case.
Is the risk or danger clear? A vague sense of foreboding
doesn't drive action for long.
Is the problem credible? If it's a snowstorm, does it act
like a real storm? If a car breaks down on a dark road, do I believe the way
the car failed and the reason they're on the dark road?
How could the author make the problem matter more to the
character, i.e., raise the stakes?
Might the story be better if events happen in a different
order? Anti-example: if we learn Darth Vader is Luke's dad in the first movie,
the fight scene in the second movie is less dramatic.
Style
Varied and appropriate sentence structure? Paragraph
length? Interesting vocabulary?
Adverbs: can I suggest better verbs? Verbs, adjectives,
nouns: these can all be flat. Can I suggest better ones?
Does the pace vary appropriately?
Is the style blunt? Thoughtful? Eloquent? Erudite? Formal or
informal? Does it fit the story? If written in first person, does the style fit
the character?
Proper use of conventions?
Theme
Can I discern at least one theme? If not, the story
won't carry much weight. If yes:
·
How does it show up in each character's
actions, words, or thoughts?
·
How does the setting reflect the theme? Example:
If the theme is "you can't trust anyone", the setting may include
shadows, mirrors, and hidden passages.
·
How can the plot incorporate or highlight the
theme more clearly? Example: If isolation is the theme, the plot involves
travel on a lonely road, riding on a crowded bus where the protagonist knows
nobody, seeing an attractive stranger but lacking courage to talk to him/her, being
not merely thrown in jail but into solitary confinement.